So you are happy and starting with the planning of your wedding... along comes mom. Some of you will be fortunate that your moms understand that it is not their wedding. However some of you may be among the unfortunate few, hopefully, that will experience the MOMZILLA... yes she does exist, she doesn't know that she is doing anything wrong. Here are some examples of them, maybe reasons for this behavior, and how to try to deal with them and have your dream wedding. Remember that the best intentions can turn the best mother into someone that you don't recognize.
MOMS, please remember that you have had your wedding, it is time to let your baby have her day and her say, when your daughter comes to you for advice be gentle with suggestions, she wants your opinion not for you to take over.
Yes there are many decisions that need to be made: How much food to order; seafood or chicken, sit down or buffet, will you have a caterer or do all the cooking yourselves, how much wedding cake, what type of cake, how you want to decorate it. Wine or cocktails, church or garden wedding, how many guest can she afford to feed, how much money can be put toward wedding/reception, flowers, wedding decorating, reception decorating, music, bridesmaids- how many does she want/need, bridesmaids dresses who will pay, moms this is where you can help you have been through some of this before but it is not the same wedding..
Controlling Mom: Kind of self explanatory. When suggestions change into demands, simply and politely listen to her suggestions and tell her that you have already made a decision about that part of the wedding. Remember ladies that she is your mom and she does love you, she may not realize that she is out of control.
Status-minded Mom: Well Justine's daughter had... OMG.. you cant do it that way what will people say. You know what I am talking about . Be confident when you tell her your decisions and stand your ground. Remember to say "no" and mean it, don't be hesitant.
Look At Me Mom: She seeks the limelight, wants the attention. Here is a suggestion on how to let her have some, find way to include mom in ceremony, give moms (groom and bride can do this) roses during ceremony, the groom will give your mom a small bouquet or other token of thanks to your mom and you will do the same for his mother. It is a beautiful touch also.
The Do It Yourself Crafty-Mom: She is multi talented and has many money saving ideas for you, she can make cute center pieces, she says I can do that just let me get my glue gun, yes she is overzealous and may possibly be under talented. Keep her busy with task that you have already decided on that you were going to do yourself, be sure however to give her specific directions, in writing is best, make sure that she knows that you need to approve any and all changes to design or plan, it will save hurt feelings and disappointment later.
The What Ever Mom: She does not care what happens, gives a small list of people to invite, they turn out to be family, shows no excitement that you are getting married. Try to keep her informed of important decisions, just because she acts like she doesn't care does not mean that she doesn't, maybe she is trying not to get in your way. She could be worried about financial matters.
Brides, you know your mothers, watch for signs, and know how to please without losing control. Have a beautiful wedding, your way.
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